Fall Cleaning

I cleaned up a lot of things here on my blog. I made all parts of the layout look the same. Now there’s no reason why people should come here and accuse me of not keeping the site up to date. =) I’m thinking about just using this site exclusively for my blog and having my journal. I really don’t need several blogs going at the same time. I’m happy with just the two. This blog and my private journal. Speaking of which, I need to get my journal fixed up so it looks nice again. I need to make more pages on this site, too. For some reason, I got really inspired last week to do some work on the site. I was amazed at all that I got done when I just sat down and did it. I did it right, too. =D

I turned on my computer today, and all of my files were magically gone.  All of my programs from iWork, iLife and Office. I had to hunt down the install discs and re-install them all. Damned Intel computer. Is this something common with Intel machines? I don’t mind re-installing everything, but I wish I could have spent the morning of my biopsey and MRI doing something other than transferring all of my files and programs from one computer to another. I don’t know how well this transaction is going to go, and I just know that I’m going to lose something irreplaceable. =( I need to clean up and clean out. Not just my computer, but our entire living quarters. I think I’ll feel better if I did something like that, and come December I was going to give away my little G4 laptop anyway. Let my dad have it. He’s been asking for some easy access to the internet and that computer is just perfect for that.

Dennis and I cleaned out Pogo’s closet and room yesterday. We packd away five teddy bears, tons of Christmas dresses and clothes that she never wears anymore, toys, bedding, and other things. Things that we just couldn’t throw away, but we just couldn’t bear to keep in the closet and in other storage places in her room. She wanted to keep her two dolls and lots of her stuffed toys, and we told her that she could keep anything that wasn’t broken and could still fit her. After all, it was her stuff. I also tried to assert some authority and tell her that some things just weren’t made to keep. Used up paints, notebooks and crayons. I assured her that we’d buy her some new paints and crayons as soon as we can.

I’m also a big recycler of spiral notebooks, especially with two kids in school. When the semester ends and they don’t need the notes in the front of the books anymore, I tear those pages out and throw them in the recycle bins. Then, if there’s enough for the next semester, I let them have the books back for another sixteen weeks of use. They last longer that way. I remember when I was in middle school, my mother used to throw my spirals away when they weren’t even half used, at the end of the semester or school year. I’ve watched Pogo use the same notebook for the last two years. I told her once she used up the entire book, we could go shopping for more. The same with Darren. When his notebooks are used up 100%, he can have new. I hope that the kids are realising that they are learning to be more resourceful and environmentally conscious.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m doing enough as a parent and as a person. It’s been six years since I started trying to be a better person. Getting off drugs and alcohol. Cleaning up my life. Getting a degree. It’s not been a pretty road and my lack of self esteem was a huge hurdle in the road. I think in the end I’m just scared of these tests today. I don’t want to hear the results because I know the results will be bad. I just want this to be over so I can get on with my life. =( Think happy, positive thoughts for me.

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