Virtual Thoughts

It seems every time I’ve written an entry where I’ve stated my opinion firmly and without dithering, someone has accused me of being “imperative” or trying to force my views on others. No matter how many times I have said that I fully support and respect others’ rights to voice their own opinion, even (especially) when it differs from mine, still they pick and choose which parts of my writing support their argument, and use it to “prove” that I’m trying to shove my words down their throats.

I welcome intelligent debate. I welcome response. I do not welcome insults, low blows, personal attacks, or using me as your personal soapbox.

I’ve told a friend a few times that one of the reasons I thought he didn’t get much feedback from readers was that he conveyed such a “fuck off if you don’t like it” attitude. I’ve become more and more careful, for the most part, with my writing, more and more careful to make it clear that this is only (only??!?!?) my opinion, and I certainly welcome feedback and debate. I still do. But I’m starting to think it’s about time I start adopting a little more of the fuck-off attitude.

I started this journal for several reasons. One of them was to have a place to express my thoughts and ideas. One of them was to be read. And yes, one of them was to prove to myself that I could be popular in the right medium. And I think I am. I think I’ve built a fairly strong reader base, and I’ve made some wonderful friends. My name is out there. People read me. And I love it. I’ve made no secret of the fact that I adore you guys and that I’m so glad you’ve come to share my journey with me. But somewhere along the way, I forgot it was still my journey. That my opinions are still the bread and butter of this journal. That this is about me, not about how many readers I have or how many emails I get.

I’m tired of apologizing for being who I am or thinking what I think. I’m tired of qualifiers. I’m tired of analyzing past entries and wondering if I was too forceful or too pathetic or too whiny or too depressed. I’m tired of trying to figure out what everyone else thinks of me. It’s time I pay a little more attention to what I think. I can write for no one but me. I will write for no one but me.

So. I’ll keep writing. I hope you keep reading. But, well, if you don’t like it…

Fuck off.

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