At around 1am, I went to adjust the sheets on the bed while Dennis was taking his bath. Bad idea. Why? When I pulled the upper left-hand side of the mattress up to pull the sheet out, the mattress split. That wouldn’t be so bad, except we sleep on a 600 galleon water bed.
This wouldn’t have been too big of an emergency, if we had kept the drain tube we made in 2004 to drain the old bed; made out of a piece of a garden hose, it was about ten-feet long, and reached perfectly to the bathtub or sink drain. But nooooo. That’s out in the storage building. I ventured outside in crocs and my night shirt and yellow panties while Dennis bailed water out of the bed with a 2.5 galleon bucket then siphoned water out of the bed with the aquarium cleaner into a 5 galleon bucket.
I never made it to the storage building.
On the way out there, I was attacked by night crawlers, a bat, and to add injury to insults, I stepped on a copper head out for a midnight snack, and yes, got bit. Never mind that I tried to rely on the outside light, and therefore there was no light for me to see where I was going or what I was walking on (or into). So I had to come back in and bandage my snake wound.
Meanwhile, Dennis is siphoning off water from the bed, throwing down towels, wrangling kids and dogs, all while trying to salvage our stuff from the floor and around the bed. Our bed had a series of drawers under it, which is where I stored my extra printer paper, notebooks for school and the sex toys. Needless to say the water seeped into the drawers and ruined the two vibrators in there. =( Also, the adapters/cords to the DS, cell phones, camera battery, and various other things. I also had a wooden box of pictures under the edge of the bed. Guess what? All of that plus our laptops were drenched. Incase laptop cases do nothing to protect your computer from water damage. If anything it holds moisture there against it. I think the power surge supply is also shorted out.
Of course, there’s a reason this happened. Dennis made it a point to say this never would have happened if “someone” would lose some weight. Of course. < Davy Jones voice> It’s cuz I’m fat, isn’t it? < /Davy Jones voice> I have a meeting at 1pm tomorrow. Hauling 2.5 – 5 galleons of water to the bathtub every ten minutes is making me sweat like a pig. My back is aching for the same reason. We’ve been at this for two hours and the bed doesn’t appear to be any thinner than it was before it burst. My things are ruined forever, and I have no money to even replace the mattress, never mind my digital pictures, my computer, my vibrators, my notebooks, the cords to my phone, camera, DS, and so on. This is exactly what I wanted to do instead of sleeping or having sex tonight. Totally worth it.
The stripped bed, complete with fish aquarium tube siphoning system:

The bucket system. Notice my new shoes! Yep, they got drenched and they aren’t even paid for yet!

Side-view of the bed, showing the drawers. The little bowl on the floor is (unsuccessfully) catching run off, so that tells me the liner is busted and we would have gotten electrocuted if I hadn’t seen the bed was leaking:

Scary thought: When we cleaned some black mold out of the air conditioner this spring, Dennis and I had horrific nose bleeds, stuffy noses, headaches and other allergy-related signs and symptoms. With all this exposed water, we’re having the same signs and symptoms as before. I wonder if that means there was mold growing in our mattress? The water coming out of the mattress is a bluish-green, and it bubbles like it has soap in it when it’s dumped in the bathtub. Hmm.
PS: Go on. Laugh about this. You know it’s funny.