The Condom Isle

If there’s one thing I’ve learned today, it’s that you can learn a lot about sex and the people who have it, just by being stranded with a hurt knee in front of the condom isle at Walmart.
That’s where I spent a good chunk of today. Sitting on that bench, watching the people come and buy/look at boxes of condoms. I was waiting for Matt and my dad to get back to the pharmacy at Walmart and come pick me up.
Six African American men came through the condom isle. They each chose 2 XL condoms, which, upon looking these up online, are longer than the average condom. Hmm. Maybe the stereotype is right?
The next man to come through was an over weight, middle age man. He carefully looked at all the boxes of condoms, then settled on a box of “x-small, vibrating for her pleasure” condoms. Ooooo-kay.
Shortly after, a man with about eight small kids came through. He bought a 50+ assorted variety pack of condoms. He didn’t even look at the other boxes, just bee-lined it for that particular box. I think I know what his favourite past time is.
The last man who came through was one leading a yellow labrador retriever on a leash. He bypassed all the boxes of condoms, and went straight for the Astroglide. He showed the box to his dog, who promptly stood on her back legs, all excited. “You like that, girl?” he asked, petted the dog and walked off.
Oh. Lord. I’m glad Matt came by and said he was ready to go find my dad and we could leave!

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