Today I lied to a friend. I’m no better than the Chels-Beast who plagues the internets with her lies and misrepresentations. I asked my friend Matt for some money today. I told him I needed gas for my car and food for my kids. He gave me $200. What did I do with it? I went to Mayfest. Alone. Normally this is something the entire family is supposed to go to, but I just couldn’t stand being trapped with my family for another day. Yes, I really said ‘trapped’. That’s just how I feel. Trapped. Plus Dennis fights with my ex every single year, and for once I wanted to go and not see a riot.
Dennis wasn’t happy when I got home. He said he’d been trying to call me and text message me. I said the phone was turned off. He said he called AT&T and they said I was downtown. WTF? He called my carrier? I don’t see where I was so wrong in needing just a little time to myself to enjoy life. Lord knows I haven’t had a good life lately.
When I got home, my knee was bothering me, and I went to take some more pain pills. Dennis took the bottle from me and threw them across the room. “You’ve had enough of these!” he said. I actually dove for them. How dare he throw away my pills! He made me wear my brace in the store, and I really didn’t appreciate that. There were fat men all over the store. Several were ganged in the cosmetics isle. One was changing his kid’s diaper in the parking lot, and threw the dirty diaper down on the parking lot. Another parked next to us at the Burger King, and was blogging about me via his Acer. WTF?
Coming home was draining. Pogo told me her toys should go to specific kids, and she named names. I should not be having this discussion with my daughter. I should not be having this discussion with a ten year old. No one should. It’s cruel. It’s sad. Going back to the University to sell back my book, I stopped at the table Jess and I sat at for our interviews just three years ago. It seemed like yesterday everything in my life was perfect. Now there are changes taking place all around me. And I don’t like a single one of them.