My heart has been broken.
About twenty minutes ago, I was working on my presentation for tomorrow (yay for procrastination!) and I asked Matt if he would be at the meeting for moral support to me. He smiled and said he’d be there in spirit. When I asked what he meant, he said his plane left at 7am. My meeting is at 9am. He’s not going to be there. In fact, he’s going to be leaving here for the last few years of his degree. I feel like I’ve been dumped.
When and if I go back to University in one week, I will be going back alone.
People tell me that I am strong. That’s not right. I am nothing without my friends and the loved ones that encourage me on a daily basis. Without them I am nothing.
Matt told me he couldn’t help me with my presentation and I had to do this alone.
Alone.
He gave me a little hug, wished me well, and then left. For the first time in a long time, I felt alone. We haven’t talked about this. I volunteered to take him to the airport, but he said that wasn’t a good idea. We’ll talk tonight, he said. Oh. It’s over, isn’t it?
Maybe I need a semester off from University. Maybe I need to collect myself better. I am leaving my domain to Matt–he changed hosts on it without my permission while I was in the hospital, so it’s not even technically mine anymore. When I scrape together some cash, I’ll be transferring it to his registra.
Is it really over?