I got fed up with my mom today. I love my mom, don’t get me wrong, but her outlook on the world is pretty sad. She thinks that she should be able to stay at home, not follow doctor’s orders and the world will come to her. That’s nice for a fantasy, but back here in reality, it doesn’t work that way. You have to make your bed, wash your dishes, clean your house, take a bath, do laundry, and take out your trash. There’s no magic wand to make it all go away. Trust me, if there were such a thing, it would be a best seller.
She doesn’t eat right, and her health is failing. She wants to get paid for staying at home, so she ‘hates’ her job. Her attitude through out this all is very negative.
She yelled at me today before she left for work. She screamed at Chloe for “being in the way”. What kind of a grandmother screams at their four year old granddaughter for playing on the floor? She yelled at me that I ‘should have’ put Chloe outside to play. Yes, in the freezing, pouring rain? I ignored her ignorant mind and told her that I would re-wash her silverware and then probably go home for a little while. She asked if I was going to listen to Christmas music while I worked, and how “thankful” she was that I didn’t have my laptop anymore to sit on her table and have something constructive to do while I washed her dishes and did her laundry. I replied that I was probably going to watch my Saw movies on DVD while I cleaned. She made another remark at how bad those movies were that all the actors in them did were scream and ‘bawl’. I choked back a laugh. “You mean like you when you have to go to work?” I asked. She grabbed her stuff and hurried out the door.
Seriously, I’m doing this woman a favor by going over to her place to do her house work while she clocks in and then sits in the bathroom at her work and cries all day. She doesn’t even do her work there. She gets my step dad to do it.
Her attitude is appalling. I don’t know what she wants anymore. I’ve done more than my fair share of helping her out and trying to make the best of what she assumes is a bad situation, but there’s no helping her anymore. I almost want to tell her that I don’t care what happens to her house anymore and not go over there. She complains constantly that she has to work, that she’s too old to work, and when I tell her that she could have worked back in the 80s, she gets upset and screams how she couldn’t work an outside job because I was there. Hmm. Really? She was always asleep on drugs, drinking with my uncle, chasing her bar friends around town, complaining about me on the phone to her mother then wondering why her own mother disliked me, but she was never ‘there’.
I have tried to explain to her that maybe she needs help. There’s no shame in being on medication to sort out your mood or emotions, and I really feel she would benefit from something like that, but to suggest that makes her go off the deep end. It’s as though she thinks you’re insulting her or something.
At this point, I am almost done with helping her. I have helped her every single week for the past decade. I have tried and tried to help her with her health, her house work, her relationships, but I think I’ve gone as far as I can go without relying on mental health drugs to help her. I just wish she could see all the relationships she’s permanently destroying while she’s the way she is.