I’ve been depressed all day. Every time I think of something I could be doing, I have to wind myself up just to get off the bed or out of the chair to do it. I have half-done projects all over the place, things that I started today, that I know won’t get done until tomorrow. I wish there was something I could do to make myself feel better, but I don’t think I will be feeling better for a long time. I need encouragement, and that just isn’t here. I need someone to tell me that everything will be ok, and there is silence. I want to reach for the stars, but I can’t even life my head to see them. Not that I could see them if I tried. It’s raining out. Cold, February rain.

Should I just give up? Stop trying? Give in to the mountain of medication and call it good? Am I just wasting time trying to rationalize my feeling and emotions?