The sadness won’t go away. I feel isolated and trapped. I tried to reach out to several friends today, and the only one who didn’t flat out ignore me picked a fight with me and we had a falling out.

*sigh*

When did it get so complicated? Why is it so complicated? I know I am blessed, I know I am loved, I know Dennis won’t be away forever, but I have this sense of dread and lonesomeness that just overwhelms me. Then I have these super-hard, super-hardcore labs that are due every single day between now and April 2end. Eight pages of handwriting each. It’s enough to drive me crazy! Today I didn’t even finish the lab–I was a couple of pages short. On the first new lab. What the hell is wrong with me?

I found out that Dennis has gone through a thirty count bottle of Seconal in about six days. That’s too much too soon. He emailed me a text asking for the prescription number so he can get it filled overseas. I told him that I didn’t know where the bottle was–after I seen the refill date was February 15th. When I confronted him about this, he said it takes about six pills for him to relax. WTF?? I think it’s time that the family doctor and I had a little talk.

I’m off to bed. Nothing else much to say.