Faith in the Unknown

My teeth feel better. I don’t know what I did, other than floss out a huge chunk of some kind of white deposit that disintegrated when I spit it out. The pain stopped immediately. It lingers sometimes, when I drink extremely cold things or eat extremely hot foods, but there’s no constant pain, and I was able to overcome it without the help of narcotics. But I did some pretty extreme cleaning. I feel relieved. I feel better.

Today I did something else that I haven’t done in a long time: I drove. I went to the mailbox, and I drove Chloe to school to register her for August. Will she really be five in July? Will she really be ready for school? It seems like just the other day when I found out that I was pregnant with her. Time flies. I was surprisingly calm during the driving. I wasn’t on the watch for anything in particularly, and I made it just fine from place to place. Of course, I did this in total secrecy and I missed the final day of classes to do it. My husband thought I was sitting in the auditorium at OSU when I was driving around town. I know that was wrong of me, but I have built a life around things that just have to be done.

There was a liberation in driving by myself. I loved being able to decide where I’m going and if I want to change my mind, I don’t have to open my mouth and say so. If I want to go a little bit slower, I can. I was in total control of where I was going and how I was going to get there. I need to be able to do that. I think it’s time for me to agree that I need to get a new car. As badly as I hate car shopping, I think it’s time that I go back to driving again.

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