You would (or maybe not) be surprised at what I did for a couple of jars of mushrooms, a good plastic fork, a cherry Dr. Pepper and a good straw.

Discovering my husband can’t hit my mouth with said fork and straw: Hilarious.

Quadruple root canals + one wisdom tooth extraction + one over crowding extraction and retainer: $7,800 + Tax.

Nanny expenses for ten days while I heal: $1000.

New Coach wallet because I said so: $130 + Shipping. We won’t talk about that yet.

Being able to have sugar, caffeine and solid food: Priceless.

Going to see the dentist on Tuesday to get these damned teeth permanently fixed: Priceless +1.

Stepping on the scales and seeing I’ve lost about 15 lbs in less than a week: Priceless +5 (and worrisome).

Knowing that the dentist is refilling my Vicodin prescription with six months of refills at 2-4 pills every six hours: Priceless +∞.