Everyone’s favorite queer here to clean up some messes online!

It’s 4:30 in the goddamned morning and I can’t sleep because I’ve been pondering this whole shit storm over in my mind since I was called into battle.

To avoid confusion, I’ll call the hero of our story “Jamie”. You all know her as that anyway.

Ok, it was a bright, sunshine-y afternoon and Jamie and the Man of the House decided to take their kids to a fancy restaurant for their first sit-down-meal. Man has heart attack-like symptoms, wrecks the family car, the Heroine has slipped out of her seat belt harness to pick up her cell phone and is slammed into the dash, the little girl is knocked unconscious, the little boy is cut deeply and the twins in their car seats are just fine. Physically.

Paramedics show up, cops show up, and the family goes to the local trauma center. There’s just one problem: Our Heroine’s ex husband is the head of Emergency Medicine there, and treats the family. How fucking awkward is that? “Oh, a family accident? How tragic. Wait, that’s my cheating ex wife! The man she fucked while we were still married! The spawn she had by another man while still married to me?!” Don’t shed too many tears over the doctor. His mistress had two babies with him before he divorced Jamie. Oh, and he kicked her out, pregnant and barefoot, with no where to go, during a snow storm. Nice doctor.

The little boy, who is ironically named after the man in Husband’s life but born to the woman he was “engaged to” at the time, gets some stitches and he and his baby brothers are sent home with their grandfather, who has been called and arrived at the hospital. By now, Jamie and Husband are sedated and counting the little black blobs dancing on the ceiling. Oh, and Husband is undergoing heart attack tests. Once up to a room, I arrive on cue to see how things are going. I get there in time to see a guy run from the room, closely followed by a full water pitcher, one I can only assume was hurled by our Heroine. The man was a detective who was bothering her with more questions about the accident. All she wanted was to see her children or know if they were alive.

That’s enough on the updates.

I cleaned this place up a tiny bit, logged into Jamie’s Facebook and took a look around (She was invited to three orgies this weekend and is in a group called “Cooters”. Hmm. Is she even married or is this just a shack job?). I’m not touching the entrecard shit with Retarded Fuckery’s cock, so you’ll just have to hold your horses. Feel free to spam the site up with positive vibes, rainbows, sunshine and lollipops. Jamie … likes … that sort of thing.