All traces of Seth and Baxter are now gone from our house. Since Chloe didn’t want a new pair of rats, we’re going to throw out their cage and food and water dishes. I scrubbed the wall down where their cage sat, and the floor, and the leg of the dresser. They were pretty messy for two bright-white rats.

I’ve been thinking a lot about death lately. Today is the would-be 48th birthday of my first love. He died twelve years ago. September was the month my first daughter was diagnosed with cancer. It was also the month my nephew stopped having chemotherapy because he was diagnosed as terminal. It was the month I first got to visit my sister’s grave. One sad tragedy after another. All in the same year. I have always had a feeling September is going to get me. For the last four years, I was always so relieved when September ended because I felt I was going to survive another year. Silly huh?

I never did find my journal. I never got my stickers I ordered. I never got my medical insurance paperwork (I think I know why those last two didn’t come true). Sorry for the nonsense. Back to cleaning. I seem to have the energy to do that.