Flame In The Night

Now for something less fun:

On September 30, 2010, I was “let go” from my job. It’s not an official firing, and it’s not quite a layoff. I was just no longer needed if I was going to be sick for long periods of time. My sickness was induced by the medicines that I take, not by my own hand. From the report, the hormones I take and the chemotherapy I took caused the blood clots to form and go to my lungs. To answer my bimbo best friend’s question: I did not die.

But I was wrongfully replaced on my job and I cannot get that place back. Before I go on, this job was the reason I went back to college for two and a half grueling years. It’s the reason I destroyed my brains studying and going to class. It’s the reason I brushed my hair and washed my scrubs. It’s my reason. If I had to pick a second reason for being, doing DNA runs and spending hours looking through microscopes, watching chemical reactions, mixing chemicals, and recording data is my reason for being. It was the reason I was put on this earth. For the first time in my life, I didn’t feel guilty spending money because it was my money. I knew the kids were well cared for, I knew the bills were paid, and I knew I didn’t have to account for every penny of the income nor did I have to hide receipts anymore.

Yesterday, I spent a good part of the day looking up attorneys, only to be turned down again and again, and then finally finding one who was willing to take my case. We’re meeting on Tuesday. This would be a good thing if I wasn’t going in for treatment tomorrow. Every three weeks. One of the women in treatment with me mused that it’s like having a period again; every three weeks, intense cravings, stomach aches, moodiness, and nosebleeds. Hmm. Never really thought of it that way. It’s as if we’ve traded one bleeding place for another. Tampons and pads won’t stop that flow! Sorry for being so graphic.

There is a silver lining on this cloud of misery that is raining on me. The internet. I can clean up this site. I can merge some of those pages up there that are basically things that could be on the same page. I can…export and import my other sites to this site. Did you know I have two other blogs? Yep. It’s true. Two dot-nets that I am getting rid of soon. It’s not a money thing, it’s time. I don’t have the time to keep up with them anymore. The content is no longer fresh, and I hate having to be super-creative on three different sites. Why not be super-duper-creative on just the one? I will probably keep the names, but there will be nothing there.

Weird things are happening on the web. Like…has anyone else gotten an email from certain places asking if they can buy your domain or you can donate it to charity? Or am I just special like that?

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