Zapped

Right now my energy is zapped. I don’t understand why it suddenly went down today, but it is. I was happy to make candies and take some naps, but I’m still exhausted. I was offered a permanent position at the University in January. I told them I would get back with them on that. Checking my medical schedule, my next treatment is this Saturday. I must be emotionally preparing for it. I haven’t decided if I am going or not. I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t have any affirmation that I am getting well, or that I will even get well. When one is prescribed high levels of narcotics, they are usually terminal. I lie to myself and tell myself that I just built up a tolerance over the years, but really? Would Doc Mick and Doc Dan know that? Is it in my records?

No need on worrying about it. I am going to seek out answers when I go in for my blood work and pre-tests on Friday. But I am going to take a nice, long, lovely nap. If I can find a place to hide where it’s dark and quiet.

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