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Fear

19/12/10 2:37 AM

I tried calling some friends earlier. Either you all have caller ID and just chose to put your phones on “ignore” when you saw it was me, or you’re really busy. Either way, I was saddened by this. :( But I shall live.

Husband is due home in a few hours. This should prove to be interesting since his dirty laundry is still at the foot of the bed where he left it weeks ago.

Some random stranger commented on one of my images of myself on Flickr – apparently I look “hot” in my gown and hospital mirror, recovering from surgery, staggering to the bathroom to pee Friday evening. Always nice to know that when I have black circles under my eyes, my hair is standing up straight, I have wires and tubes trailing out of my gown that is slipping off my shoulders, my eyes are closed, my face is pale, and I’m grinning like a goon, that I’m still somewhat attractive to someone else.

Scary thought – the same person commented on another picture, this one of my mom holding me when I was about five. They said I was a MILF. Hmm. I don’t know if that’s a compliment to me or my mom. Personally, I didn’t think we looked that much alike.

I’m going back to sleep. I dunno what the point of this update was. Possibly loneliness mixed with nightmares of the scope piercing through my stomach and nighttime vomiting. Fear. It keeps me awake. Someone hold me.

Posted by christina | in Friends, Health, Illness, On My Mind | Comments Off

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