Person In The Shadows

New Years is upon us. I hate the way I feel like wanting to throw a fit whenever it happens. Like, you are forced to look back on the year gone by and then you ask yourself WHAT THE HELL DID I DO? Well, I know this has to be one of the better years, hate looking back on the year and thinking of all I did or didn’t do, and how it’s going to affect me for the rest of my life. Now I can’t speak for anyone else, but this is my take on it. New Years has been a sort of torture for me since I broke up with my first boyfriend. That was the first time I realized “hey, this is REAL life. Things aren’t always going to be cool.” And what pisses me off about the whole thing is the importance placed on New Years: the party, kissing someone at midnight, and the resolutions… I mean, who started this freakin’ tradition anyway? All of those things are good in and of themselves, but what are those of us who don’t have a party to go to, don’t have someone to kiss, and know the resolutions they have to make are overwhelming… what are we supposed to do but stress, freak out, or get depressed? hmmm…

And I know what some of you are thinking… that we just need to get over it and deal with it like everyone else. Well, I’m trying. But that doesn’t change the fact that another year has passed, and that I feel this burning desire and pressure to make the new one kick some serious arse… but I’m scared… afraid that I won’t be able to conquer my fears. Do you know what I mean? But I’ll try all over again, and hopefully someday I’ll get it right.

So that’s why New Years sucks for me. But hey, don’t feel sad munchkins. If I actually had something FUN to do tonight, I wouldn’t really give a damn about any resolutions or kissing… I would just get drunk, dance naked around the room, and have the time of my life hehe… so have a raucous, debauched, absolutely sensational New Years Eve, and get home safely!!

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