Archive for March, 2011
My Irish is lacking. But my *Irish* eyes are always green and dancing.
Old Irish toast:
May you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you’re dead.
I’m running on empty. I have to. Just a few more hours, and I will be in Texas, ready for the procedure on Friday, chemically comatised and dead to the world. All the arrangements have been made, the kids will be well taken care of, and my workplace has offered to hold my job for me; they went the extra mile and told me I was off until June, when the summer courses start. Isn’t that nice? A three-month vacation.
I haven’t heard from the person who turned me in. It’s as if they disappeared off the face of the earth, and I couldn’t care less. They think what they did was sly, funny, and cute, but what it did in reality, was dirty and cruel. Right now, any money that I want to play around with, I have to earn it. Dennis’ money is going towards our bills and my medical procedures. I was shocked this person turned on me like they did, but in the end, I guess I was expecting it. I’m just glad the whole thing didn’t go any further and when it was proven that I was not intoxicated at work, they were written off as a liar and the University washed their hands of the whole mess. I’m now wondering if they were the one who reported me three and a half years ago, when I was reported for a similar ordeal. They used the illusion that many people disliked me, and I bought into that illusion. I took comfort in knowing that person was there for me. Then I was mysteriously reported for being pregnant and partying down on a drug that has zero recreational value. I’m sure that person knew that, but they were just causing trouble.
I am going to finish packing and rest a bit until my ride is here. Yes, I’m heading out tonight. I’ll try to make a small post tomorrow to let everyone know that I am doing okay and they shouldn’t worry. My pain is pretty bad, nothing relieves it but bed rest. That shouldn’t be happening. I should not be in this much pain, physically. I overheard my mother talking to someone on the phone, probably her mother, about how invalid I am because I will be putting her 100 DVDs on hold while I go in for this procedure. Even though I have told her that I will continue to make the DVDs when I get back, and she will have two full shows plus several movies she can watch in the meantime, I’m sure she won’t run out of things to watch, I am still an invalid. She brags about her co-workers’ adult children, and how, even though they are greedy and demand fast food and gas money plus cash as payment for taking their sick and elderly family members out to buy medicine, and demand the relatives buy for their friends, too, they are wonderful because they do it without taking a break. I wonder how many of them are seriously ill? Hearing her tell this to someone made me cry. What’s the point in helping my mother if nothing will ever please her, and I am the black sheep because she chose to sleep around and have me? If she was so ashamed of getting pregnant by another man, she should have had an abortion. Point blank. They were legal in 1980.
The key in my life that many people miss is that I am seriously ill. I’m not given high doses of dangerous medicines because I want something to do on the weekends. I am sick. I am in pain. Very few, if any, of the medicines really work for me. Much of my day is spent in pain. Chloe has to come to me and tell me at my bedside about her day. On most days, I cannot pick her up from school because of the pain. I have to rely on my father in law. I hope this procedure will fix much of that. I welcome your happy thoughts, good vibes, and prayers!
Everything is all set. By this time Thursday, I will be in the hospital, in Texas, waiting for the finalisations of the tx. After that, I will be staying with my brother in Cedar Park, Texas until April 24th. I am taken back by my brother’s suggestion and volunteering to do this. Normally, he’s very selfish and pushes himself past me. Not this time, though. I guess when it’s life or death, he really pulls through. My kids will be going with me. This is a partial family affair. I just wish Dennis were going to be there too, but he can’t seem to tear himself away from his guys for even that one night.
An interesting tidbit, as I was digging through some of my old discs of past layouts and archives, with the intentions of putting my old archives here, and I discovered that today was the day, ten years ago, that I dumped Blogger.com as my blog updater. I graduated to Greymatter on March 15, 2001, after using Blogger.com since June 2000. I believe I quit using Greymatter in 2002, but I don’t know the exact date yet.
So that’s the boring update on my life for the day. I think I might sneak and have another New York Dog today, while I can still get it out of my system before Thursday.
I slept all day long. The time change plus my illness, it’s all really taking its toll on me. I work hard to get my mother’s discs done, but I don’t know if I will be able to get them all done before I go to Texas for my procedure. I don’t know if I will be able to even get through the procedure. I just realised that I haven’t eaten anything today, and that’s not my fault. Almost all of the food here was given away to my mother’s friends. But if I complain about her taking away my family’s food, she will get mad at me. I almost hate Dennis for making her stay with me while he is gone. I think I would have done better if I were alone, or something.
Let’s look at some pictures. Photos always make people happy, right?