Archive for the ‘Adventures’ Category
Spring Night Air Before The Storm
I took some more pain meds last night, and for the first time in several weeks, they didn’t make me drowsy or dizzy. I think that’s an improvement, even though I did sleep, but only for less than four hours. I took my pill bottles down to the drug store to have them refilled. Ten hours later, my pills still hadn’t been filled. I think it’s going to be Monday or later before I get them refilled now.
I went for a small ride tonight. Through the open, night spring air. Honeysuckle. Pine. Mint. The air was heavy with the coming storm. In the west, lightening lit up the sky. In the east, tiny stars danced and twinkled above the dark clouds that were looming in. I made it through the city before the rain started. It seemed like a perfect way to end the day. The thunderstorm stayed for over two hours, with hints of it still lingering in the distance.
A Full Day
I did something amazing yesterday.
I drove to my final in the rain. I managed to get Matt and drive us to our final. All with a nice brace on my knee. This deeply angered my mom, who has been sending my dad over here to do some of the driving for me, and they weren’t too happy with my decision. I chose to go that route because my knee actually felt better yesterday. OMG! How dare I get well!!
Last night, my mom caused some drama for me. She got upset at me for going with Matt, and she said I was ‘pissing away a good thing’ aka Dennis’ money. Hmm. Well. Ok. I could see it if I were actually having an affair with Matt, but my seduction skills haven’t enabled me to master gays yet. I’ve decided that my mom is very prejudice for a woman in an interracial marriage. She dislikes Matt because he’s gay. I actually told her last night that I would be ashamed of myself if I knew someone nearly thirty years and couldn’t properly insult them. She didn’t get it. When she calmed down I told her I had a small duty to make sure Matt got to his finals, and I was afraid she’d try to push him off on her nasty male friend, much like she did when I was in grammar school.
So guess what I spent today doing?
After my last final, I spent two hours racing from store to store looking for a Mother’s Day present for her. Aren’t I so ungrateful and spoiled?
Finals…
That’s another funny thing that happened. I originally woke up at 10am, then fell back asleep and didn’t set my alarm. I woke up with Dennis walking past the bed, and I asked what time it was. “One,” he replied. “Ohmigod!!!” I cried and jumped out of bed. “What?” he asked. “My final starts at one!” I replied. I hurried and got dressed, then raced out the door as fast as I could. Picked up Matt and drove to the University testing center. Matt and I got there at exacty 1:20pm. Not bad. The teacher asked us why we were late. “Because you’re a clock watcher,” I replied. Apparently, that’s the wrong answer. She gave me a dirty look as I hurried off to the testing center cubicle.
I want to write more, but I’ve taken my narcotics and I’m sleepy now. Plus I haven’t eaten today. I need to do that too.
The Condom Isle
If there’s one thing I’ve learned today, it’s that you can learn a lot about sex and the people who have it, just by being stranded with a hurt knee in front of the condom isle at Walmart.
That’s where I spent a good chunk of today. Sitting on that bench, watching the people come and buy/look at boxes of condoms. I was waiting for Matt and my dad to get back to the pharmacy at Walmart and come pick me up.
Six African American men came through the condom isle. They each chose 2 XL condoms, which, upon looking these up online, are longer than the average condom. Hmm. Maybe the stereotype is right? 
The next man to come through was an over weight, middle age man. He carefully looked at all the boxes of condoms, then settled on a box of “x-small, vibrating for her pleasure” condoms. Ooooo-kay.
Shortly after, a man with about eight small kids came through. He bought a 50+ assorted variety pack of condoms. He didn’t even look at the other boxes, just bee-lined it for that particular box. I think I know what his favourite past time is.
The last man who came through was one leading a yellow labrador retriever on a leash. He bypassed all the boxes of condoms, and went straight for the Astroglide. He showed the box to his dog, who promptly stood on her back legs, all excited. “You like that, girl?” he asked, petted the dog and walked off.
Oh. Lord. I’m glad Matt came by and said he was ready to go find my dad and we could leave!
Oh We’re Having Fun Tonight!
During his “shift” to carry the 5 galleons of water to the bath tub, Dennis decided that it was too much hard work, grabbed a kitchen knife, sliced the hose in pieces, made a new drain tube for the bed, and we both stood there in the bathroom, beside the tub, looking at the phallic-shaped hose. “YOU suck it,” he said and handed it to me. “No, YOU suck it,” I replied and handed it back.
“YOU broke it.”
“YOU wanted it.”
“YOU suck it.”
Dennis’ dad’s voice shouted at us from the other room: “Don’t make me come in there and suck it!!”
*awkward silence*
“Does he know what happened?” I asked.
“No,” Dennis replied.
“I’ll suck it,” I volunteered.
“Ok,” Dennis said, and hurried out of the bathroom.
It took a few minutes to get the flow going, and giving oral sex to a green, muddy garden hose at four in the morning was kind of bad, especially since I was on all fours in front of the bath tub and the dog was trying to hump me, but I got a nice flow going. I think I swallowed some of that nasty, warm, salty, moldy water. But it was a little worth it; the towel on the floor is soaked through, and this method is draining the bed a hundred times faster. Yes, it was like giving head to the Jolly Green Giant.
Pictures in the morning. I promise.
Where’s Dennis while I monitor this drainage? Asleep next to his dad, in his dad’s bed. The perfect way to end the night.
PS: You can still laugh about this. I need to go elevate my foot before I die of snake venom infection.
Hostess
★
☆
comatised.com
on Google+
Countdown To Halloween!
NaNoWriMo
Click, Drop & Roll
Plurk
Visuals
