So far so good.

I’m expecting to get paid tomorrow and pay off my credit card, to an extent where I don’t have to worry about over-spending anymore. I also went out and bought my mom her birthday cake for this year, and some blank DVDs so I can transfer the movies and TV shows she wanted onto discs. My wonderful DVD recorder already botched two discs, and I had to reset the PRAM on my computer. I hope this will stop that error from happening again, and I can go on with getting these done in time for her birthday.

My friends tried to cheer me up some more today, but with my hiccups, heartburn, stomach aches, and chronic knee pain, I just can’t get in a good mood. I feel tired all the time, and I blame the morphine on that. I’m exhausted, and I don’t even have a good excuse. I’ve tried downsizing my life, accomplishing tasks that have been nagging at me for weeks, and nothing seems to make me feel better, physically or emotionally. I don’t understand it. Dennis isn’t answering his phone tonight, and he didn’t tell me if or when he even had any place to be, but I don’t care. I don’t feel like dealing with people much anymore. They just annoy me. Even my own kids annoy me. I try to talk softly to people because anything above normal makes me dizzy, and all they say back to me is “Huh?” So I feel like I’m screaming at people all the time. It’s so frustrating.

Chloe wants me to go to something at her school, before spring break. Hell, I forgot about spring break. After next week, she’ll be home for an entire week. Fun, fun, fun. This means I’ll have to entertain her for the week.

I find myself having less and less tolerance for people and things. That’s not like me. I’m usually so patient and calm and collected, but not lately! Lately I just want things to go smoothly, and when they don’t, I have to walk away from the situation for a while before something bad goes down. I haven’t gone to the therapist in several weeks because I have been sick. I figure I should go, just to make sure I’m ok.

I found out one of the women who looked down her nose at me for helping some babies in need, is, in fact, pregnant for the fifth time. Her fourth baby was miscarried around Thanksgiving. Less than a month later, she found out she was pregnant again. Of course her baby is a miracle. Mine were just “drug induced accidents that should have been aborted”. Just ask her. She’s one of the many people who make me sick with her snide remarks, hiding behind Jesus and being a “good girl”. Yep. Good girls. They get knocked up at 16, the man walks out of their lives, and they spend the rest of their lives stalking said man, even while married to another man and squeezing out his babies, making sure their ex can’t get a job and then complaining about the ex being a drain on society. Nice, Christian woman, huh? They’re all like that around here. They’re all cut from the same cloth.

Before I close for the night, and stagger to my bed in my morphine clouded brain, I have to say that I took a peek at my site on an IE browser at work. IE has really gone down hill! I wonder why I even bothered to use it in the first place! It’s just really, really, really bad.

Good nite everyone!