Born Too Late
Tomorrow I’m going to venture to the doctor.
I realise that I should kick this guy to the curb, but I’m strapped for a ride, gas prices are super-high, and there isn’t another doctor within several miles of where I live. Seriously. He’s the closest thing that I have to a “doctor” for miles, and that’s stretching it. I just want the pain to stop. I’m at this point where I don’t care whether he does it with narcotics or physical therapy. I don’t care if I get a referral to someone else. I want the pain to end. Is that so much to ask?
One of my friends sent me an Atari Emulator and some games. I must admit-I was born too late. These games are awesome. 
Boards are Thursday. My interview is Friday. Think happy thoughts for me. This week is going to be a huge chapter of my life. The turning point. If I don’t pass Boards, I won’t be able to go on to my interview on Friday morning. This will all work out, right? I’ll pass Boards, I’ll get rid of this pain, my blood work will come back great, and I’ll get that job, right? It’s time for my rainbow after the storms, right? You can agree with me; I need the encouragement!
Stupid Or Just Good Karma
I’m thinking of giving away my four-disc Legend of Zelda games on Listia. I don’t know if that’s a good idea or not. I just want some good karma, and I figured that giving away the things I no longer use but are useful would be the way to go.
I’ve googled the games and two of them are worth $200 each. Here I am, considering giving them away. For free. Am I crazy, or will I get copious amounts of good karma for this?
So, here’s my music contest!
Before he left me to pursue a career in film-making, Matt gave me a song that he played frequently, all summer long, to be exact, at the coffee shop. It was in MP3 format, and we did the whole bump-and-slide iPhone thing. Trouble was, I only got part of the song. I’ve emailed Matt since then and he has re-sent the song, but it’s the same partial that I got through the bump-and-slide! I think this has to do with it being an iTunes song, but I don’t know because the partial doesn’t come up with anything special in iTunes when I import it.
The MP3 is hosted here.
So what do you get if you can tell me the name and artist of the song? 10,000 EntreCard credits!
If you can find the song on iTunes and gift it to me? 18,000 credits in 1,200 daily payments.
Credits not your cuppa? I have money! 
But only if you’re not willing to buy the song and can just tell me the name: $5. After that, I think I can find it, especially if it’s on iTunes.
Or if you’re really feeling nice, you can decline any payments at all and I’ll be your best friend forever.
I have googled the hell outta this song’s lyrics. I can’t tell if it’s male or female. I don’t know the era, but I’m going to guess that it’s mid-80s. Help? Email me with the answer.
I worked on my homework tonight–I’m stuck. I can get part way there, I just need some extra help. So I’ve emailed my teachers–even THAT ONE–and I’ve requested some meeting time to find out what I’m doing wrong and if I can be helped. I also emailed my Pharm 3 professor and asked if he could re-consider my zero on yesterday’s assignment. I hope he thinks it over.
I went to the doctor today–more blood work, x-rays, chest x-rays, he noticed I have insurance now and brought up that this would be a good time to have $50,000 worth of gastric bypass. My answer? “Hmm. So having gastric bypass would cure my low blood sugars and erase my chemical burns?” He rolled his eyes and told me to stop taking the metformin and drinking so much Smartwater, oh, and to go home. Heh. I’m just waaaaay over his head!
My pharm 3 professor hates me. . . .And I hate him right back!!!
Ok, hate is a very strong, very wrong emotion, but I don’t know what else to express. I helped out a couple of students today in Pharm lab, and when he found out, he wrote a red, huge ZERO on my lab report. That’s right. I stood there, helping others as I did my own work, and I was punished for it! If you ask me, those two that I helped should have gotten the zeros–they copied my data number for number out of my lab book! I actually cried over this. I worked through the entire lab and I got a zero. I helped people and I got a zero. Fifteen points that I will never get back.
This is the part where Matt would tell me something that would make me feel better, how well I’ll bounce back, and how I gotta do my assignments and ‘go for it!’ But Matt isn’t here anymore. I ride to school alone. I wander the buildings alone. I sit through lectures alone, scribbling notes on my tear-stained notebooks. I then ride home alone. I can’t gather the strength to do my assignments. I went for coffee the other day and had to leave the coffee shop because the memories were bringing tears to my eyes.
On a good note, Darren is doing excellent in the “normal” class.
My blood sugar is still in the mid-80s/low-90s. I am going to the doctor about this tomorrow. I haven’t been eating right since I went on my crash diet. I’m going through changes that aren’t good. I’ve taken out many of my piercings–ears, nose, and I’ve looked into getting my stamps removed. I’m just not into it anymore. 
I will be happy again. I know it!
Tomorrow I have a contest planned, so all you music lovers out there, be prepared!
A box was waiting for us on the porch when I got up this morning. It was address to Jess. How strange is it to be receiving someone’s mail nearly a year after they died? It was The Sims 3, and while I’d love to play/have this game, it’s not mine, and I have already got it given away, when we return home on the fifth. Jess asked that his things go to his friends who had less than him, and I’ve already promised his Sims 3 game and old iBook with a hacked, no-CD required Sims 2 on it. However, I have all of his Sims 2 DVDs, if anyone is interested in them. I also have his library of nursing school books and optional reading if anyone is interested.
It’s beautiful:
You get stickers, cards, and lots of other goodies inside:
For the longest time, I didn’t know what this really was:
Oh shit! I broke it!
Wait, it’s one of those drive thingys!
In other news: The funeral is tomorrow and we’re leaving on the fifth. My hosting expires in less than a week, so I guess my sites will die after this week. Thank you for all the well-wishes and love over the past few weeks. It was greatly appreciated. I think I’m cried out. I cried every single night for the past couple of weeks. I have questioned myself, my husband, my existence, god, the world, and I’ve come the the same conclusion: I am still drifting, eternally. I will never be ok with what happened. I will never forget the things told to me these past few weeks. I will never be the same.
Jamie aka: The being known as Wonder Girl, 30, mother of four, wife to one, she is a senior biomedicine student who is learning to fit in in the world around her. After nearly three decades on this planet, she still doesn't know where she belongs. Best friend of Matt, sarcastic, spoiled, apathetic, kutie brat, babe. Just your average woman, living in a not-so-average world, surviving by her incredible super power of being able to see right through you while
accomplishing more tasks than you ever thought imaginable. She is the being known as Wonder Girl and she is speaking, I believe. More? Aren't you brave!
