I had a seizure today. The worst part of it was that it happened at work in the employee lounge. I wish that I could have been anywhere else than at work when it happened, but at least my boss wasn’t there and it didn’t happen in front of any students. It didn’t hurt when I hit the floor. I remember I was going to get some juice out of the fridge and my eyes snowed over and the next thing I knew I was laying on the floor with my feet twitching.
I have a doctor appointment for next Friday, but I’m unsure if that will be enough.
Dennis wanted to take me to the emergency room, but I said I was fine.
Today was mid-terms, and all I had to do was pass them out and then babysit the students to make sure they didn’t cheat. It should have been easy, but after a seizure, my brain is mush. I tried really hard to sit there until the end of the exams, but I ended up asking Carl to finish the shift, before Dennis took me home. When we got home, Dennis made me cut my nails because I had scratched the blood out of my face.
I hope that things get better and that I don’t end up going to the ED for any reason. Although Dennis is ready to go anytime that I am. I’m going to get better. I promise.
I’ve come across some really beautiful fabric. I don’t know what I am going to do with it, yet. Possibly make a table cloth or a flat sheet from it. If I get really crafty I’m going to make a dress. It’s beautiful:
So my computer died. At least I got the site working before the battery exploded and corrupted the motherboard. I was offered a new MacBook Pro, but I repaired mine. I love this computer. I got it as a gift for going back to school, from my nephew who was on disability. Besides, a new motherboard, some legs and a brand-new battery, and it was running as good as new. The best part? I did all that work on my own! I didn’t think I could, but I did!
So what was life without a computer like for me? Easy! I went out with Dennis twice since the computer broke down, I was able to attend a PTA meeting for Chloe’s school, I took some weird and funny pictures and posted them on FaceBook, and I picked out some things I’m going to buy this coming Thursday. So it wasn’t all that bad. Plus some things still work on my phone, so I wasn’t completely internetless. I’m sure if I really wanted to get online I could have used Dennis’s laptop.
I have a treatment coming up this Friday. Something I’m not looking forward to. I’m always so tired after I have those treatments. But we’re loaded up with Fentanyl (It’s been a month since I last had any of that), Norco and Morphine. I’m ready for it! Bring it on, baby!!
Have a good night, everyone!
My second patch fell off in the tub yesterday. I thought I wouldn’t need another one, but around one this afternoon, the extreme pain came back. It brought tears to my eyes and a lump form in my throat. I grasped the blankets, knowing what was coming next.
The horrid pain rushed over me, causing the tears to flow in a steady stream. I clenched my teeth, clenched my fists, squeezed my eyes shut, held my breath, breathed slowly and steadily.
Nothing caused the pain to go away. Nausea followed the onset of the pain. I tried to force myself to throw up, under the false impression that would make the pain go away. But I could not get the pains to go away or throw up. I was at a stand still.
At about 10pm, the pain melted away enough for me to tolerate it to write, take my medication, hold Zinnia, wash my hair and slip on a second patch.
The pain begin to elevate again. And here I am. Trapped by my own body by something no one else believes I have.
I’m severely tired again. Back to where I can’t get enough sleep. I don’t understand why I am so tired that I just want to sleep for days and days. Any ideas?
No stars for me tonight. We’re getting rain and cloudiness for the entire week, and as long as it keeps the heat down, I’m all for it! I can’t stand the super heat.
To I am going to give Dennis a little early Father’s Day present from me. The kids want to make the cake tonight, so if I can stay awake for longer than fifteen minutes at a time, I would love to bake a cake. Maybe that will get my mind off of things, get my mind on other things. Later on tonight, Dennis and I are going to another Couples’ Club party. I really like these parties.
For the first time in years, I got to go to the water park! I never thought I would be able to go just for me, you know? No kids, no other family members, just Dennis and I, gliding over the calm, sparkling water of the Lazy River circle pool, to riding the wild waves of the Ocean Motion wave pool. I even down a huge slide! We had a blast, just the both of us, for my birthday. That may be why I’m so tired today. I know it’s why all my muscles are sore. So sore that I had to pop a tizanidine when I first woke up this morning. By some miracle, AKA sun screen and sun block, I didn’t get burned out there in the warm sun. I sure hated to leave, after spending three hours having so much fun. Coming home, I took a bath and collapsed into the bed. No cake and ice cream, didn’t even open my presents or upload the water park pictures to Flickr, I was just so tired.
So today I get to open my presents, have some cake and ice cream, and have Happy Birthday sung to me. It’s like my birthday is such a big event, it lasts two days!
I think the best present I got was Billy had officially left me alone for six months now. Six whole months of me not having to turn down his advancements. Ahh, peace is wonderful!
Have a fun and safe weekend! Smile! I insist!
I’ve been on a semi-hiatus because I’m having trouble with sleep. I have to sleep after being awake for just an hour at a time. During this hour, I usually take a bath, brush my teeth, or write in my Paper Project book, feed the dogs and then pass out again. I don’t know what is wrong with me. I wish I did. I’m going to the doctor on Tuesday, so I can ask while I’m there. Not that I have a lot of faith in my doctor, or anything.
Yesterday I picked up my dad’s Father’s Day gift — a portable chair in blue. I also picked up another bottle from the DKNY Pure collection and two bottles from the Field of Flowers collection. I have yet to use any of those Field of Flowers soap. Maybe I should start?
I know I can’t wash my hair. I can’t reach my head and then I can’t lather my hair once I can get my hands up there. Dennis has been washing my hair a couple of times a week. For the first time in a long time I have been able to appreciate all that he has done around the house, and I feel sad that I tore his band apart. How many other women force their husbands to quit their jobs, give up their liveliness? Maybe it’s time he and I talked this over.
I spent a few hours on the site, jazzing things up for now, and asking on forums what I can do to make it better. I really want to make the site “prettier” if I can.
My mother is going to be coming home, so the hospital says, but they said that it’s going to be a long time to rehabilitate her. I’m happy that it’s even a possibility!!
Today was the last day of school for Chloe, and guess what? She didn’t bring home a yearbook or her class pictures. I paid over $150 for two yearbooks and over thirty pictures of her and her class. I’ve already filed a complaint with Josten’s, but I’m not sure how well it will do with the three-day weekend coming up and people just busting to get out of their offices and get to their vacations for the summer. I wish I could relax and have a good start to summer, but the whole idea of losing $150 is really unsettling with me. I emailed the school and they said she wasn’t there on picture day. I know that’s not right because we got a receipt from the photographer.
Working on the site reminded me how bad my back truly is. Cancer eating through a spine is a real doozie. Don’t let it happen to you! Just sitting here for an hour really hurts. So editing the pages, tearing my hair out, crying to Josh via webcam, and all that other shit was truly painful. I hope that if you’re passing this site you at least leave me a comment telling me how awesome I did on the site! Or leave me some constructive criticism! I’d appreciate either/or.
I never got that sex I’ve been craving. I’m sure you wanted to know.
Have a good night!
I have chemically induced amnesia. It’s apparent in most of my posts that I dare stay awake after popping my pill for the night, that I am under the influence of something, but this medicine seems to have no mercy. No matter how long one has been on this medicine, it induces amnesia, there is no building up a tolerance, and the amnesia comes at irregular intervals.
Last night’s entry is the perfect example of that.
Part of me wishes that I had spent that time working on my new Theme because that was a fairly frustration for me. I’m trying to make a theme that matched my old MoveableType layout, but so far I have had no luck.
I also, apparently, ate a bag of potato chips and have no recollection of doing so. The positive side? I don’t have any guilt in inhaling a bag of potato chips, simply because I don’t remember doing so!
I’m planning on seeing my doctor at 4:30pm today. Happy thoughts for me? Warm thoughts? Prayers? I want to be healthy for a change!