Milestones
Long day today.
I accomplished something I think was a huge step: I drove again for the first time. It’s been a little over a week, and by a little I mean down to just a few hours, since I’ve driven a car. It was Lance’s car. It was dusk when we piled in. I was a little scared, and he put on Wham! songs. I just can’t be depressed listening to Wake Me Up Before You Go Go. It’s not natural for me. We went to buy my husband something for his birthday. I’d taken Chloe along because she really wanted to buy her daddy something for his birthday. She’s been saving up pennies and money we’ve found in the streets, and she had all of $3.24. I felt a little sad at her for thinking she could get anything for her daddy with that little amount of money. Maybe a Starbucks small coffee? He’d sure like that, though! 
I’m not going to tell what I bought my man, because it’s wrapped and I’ve been getting weird hits from a local IP, but I have a picture:
Cute, no?
At school, it was free t-shirt day. I got one for my dad. I’m going to take it over to him tomorrow. I got this little bear, too:
I named him “Danny Bear” after my (asshole!) doctor. But only because my doctor’s vanity plates read: “DannyBoi” in some variation. It makes me giggle and roll my eyes at the same time.
I’m sure that sooner or later the bad part of today is going to circulate somewhere. I shared with some of my close friends, but we all know how emails get passed around like …. prison currency, right? Especially if they contain something juicy. Which mine did. I will say that I am being emotionally tortured, and I can’t tell anyone that I normally can because they’re all busy with my husband’s birthday. Even his ex is in town, in our house right now, making him a birthday cake. My back was against the wall and I did something stupid. I wasn’t thinking. I just wanted some relief. I’m not sorry that I did it. I’ll probably do it again and again until it eventually does what I wanted it to do on that whim. Yes, I know, I suck. It’s the life of a clinically depressed pessimist. I smile and seem happy on the outside but inside I’m still curled up on the floor, sobbing. Hell, I cried the first day of class this semester. I cried after wards. Sean told me I cried when I got my IVs. Don’t worry about me. I’m still here.
I put the finishing touches on my Christmas shopping this year. The plus side of shopping via the internet is that you’re pretty much guaranteed to get whatever it is that you bought, there’s no lines, nothing.
The downside to it is, there’s virtually no free gift wrapping option. So I had to venture out in the cold and falling snow and get gift wrap. I got some other things too (the MBP in the background is Ron’s)
The family dog so wants that rubber ducky.
Oh yeah, and I bought wrapping paper. It’s there, somewhere. 
All Christmas Shopping In A Day
I got most of my Christmas shopping done today. I say most because there was one thing left that I couldn’t buy with my “new computer” fund. I spent the money I was going to use for buying a new machine, into buying Christmas presents for my husband and kids. How’s that for a sacrifice? Now I’m going to be stuck with using a slow, G5 processor for the rest of my life, or until I can scrape together enough money to get a new computer. I’m happy with my choice. If I could do it all over again, I’d make the exact same choices.
I got something for my husband, something for Chloe and something for the boys. I know what I want to get for Darren, but I ran out of money before I could get it. So, I applied for another credit card and I was approved. It should be here within a week, and then I can proceed and get Darren’s present next week. I have avoided the crowded malls, the drama, of Christmas shopping, yet again. Am I good, or what?
I’ve somewhat calmed down from the drama of the past week. I haven’t told my husband what happened, yet, and I don’t know if I should or not. There’s a part of me that thinks maybe this is one of those things that he really doesn’t need to know about. Then there’s another part of me who feels that this is something I shouldn’t keep a secret. I’ve made excuses for what happened. I’ve tried to rational what happened. But the bottom line is I got used and it took me off guard. It angered me. I spent Thursday burning clothes and crying. I spent Friday with chills running down my spine and butterflies in my stomach. I have told no one what happened. I’ve written about it in my journal a few times, but that is all. It’s not something I want to shout from the rooftops.
At the end of the list of things to go over, I have my laundry organised so I won’t have to wash any clothes between now and my final. Seriously. I have just enough clothes to wear for the last day of classes, the review and my final. I didn’t even plan it that way.
Dennis is kind of mad at me. I’m considering dropping my second lab on Tuesday because I just can’t get to it on time and there’s too much work. I know, that makes me a quitter, just like when I dropped Religion because the instructor didn’t find the humor in my referencing South Park in my essay or calling Passion of the Christ a snuff film.
Ok, that was sarcasm; I dropped the class to save my GPA and I need to do that again.
I can’t concentrate on my second lab, and therefore, I shouldn’t keep it.
Plus I’m still sick and stuffed up and I think my sense of taste is going now.
I’ve had more Mucinex and Advil and ginger ale than any normal person should. I had to get new pillows because the old ones didn’t keep my head elevated enough. I even got lazy and bought some new panties and socks. Then went overboard and bought Snow Leopard. I was a little wary of buying it because I’d heard that Photoshop doesn’t work with SL. Totally wrong. I got 20 Gigs of space back and Rosetta installed automatically, so previous versions of Photoshop (at least my V. 8.0) works perfectly and seamlessly with SL. I haven’t checked it out completely, but the only other thing I noticed was there were more stars on my desktop picture now.
I think my mini shopping spree was what originally made Dennis mad–not my choice to drop my second lab. Now we can’t (technically) pay the phone bill until Monday or Tuesday. Sucks, I know. I think if I’m no better by Tuesday, I will go to the free, school clinic. Only because I think I have a virus.
The Day Is Already Full
It’s barely past 1pm and already I’ve had an eventful day. I want to first start off with letting everyone know that I banned the commenter from yesterday. Banned them from even coming to my site (they were checking every few minutes to see if I was going to tell who they were. Nope, not me. When it comes to online drama, I don’t play. Sorry), though my proxy hits have jumped pretty high in the past few hours. While I was sleeping, then out spending my birthday gift cards and coming home to make a cheese cake, they were checking my site to see if I was going to out them. Nope. Unless they do something else jaw-dropping, this is the last you’ll hear about them on my site.
I went out and spend my $45 worth of gift cards that I got for my birthday today. I debated on making a no-bake cheese cake before heading out, but I wanted to go shopping alone, and I knew that running the mixer would wake Chloe. Probably the smell of butter melting for the crust would wake her too. So I packed up my cards and headed out. I bought a pack of 10 blank DVDs for me, accidentally buying DVD RW’s. Re-writable/re-usable discs. Just what I didn’t need. Oh well. They were free. I bought a Mouse Webkin for Chloe and a new red mushroom candy tin for her since she opened her’s last month in the car and all the candy came cascading out all over the rental car.
With the $25 card my dad got me, I looked into getting one of those USB modems for my laptop, but they’re $50 up front plus an additional $60 per month charges and you have to sign a two-year contract. Um, no thanks. I ended up spending the card on paying my bill. Oh well. It’s all good.
I came home and mixed up the cheese cake for dinner tonight. I’m going to make my specialty chicken breast nuggets and spring mashed potatoes. Dennis came by a few minutes ago and asked what was wrong with the cheese cake in the fridge; it fell apart when he tried to cut it. I sighed. “I just put that in there ten minutes ago. You could wait the hour it’s supposed to be refrigerated before chowing down,” I replied. He rolled his eyes and walked away. I should be nice to him. On Tuesday he’s going away to film a reality show, then in early August he’s got a couple of shows coming up overseas. I probably won’t get to see him again for nearly a month. I’m going to miss him when he’s gone.
I had weird dreams last night. I dreamed John told me he loved me. We were in a high school setting and I was hiding from someone. He was waiting for me in the room I was hiding in. When I asked him why he was there, he said “Because I love you.” Weird. Weird. Weird. I think it has to do with the shitty pen he gave me at JournalCon. Don’t get me wrong, I love the pen, it’s the ink cartridge that sucks–it writes like it’s about to run out of ink.
I woke up late and had a craving for Oreos and Coke. I don’t know why. Eventually, I had to go to the store to get a box of DoubleStuff Oreos and a bottle of Coke to clear my head. Even then I wanted to call John and tell him about the dream. But I’ll save that for another time. For now, I’m still converting and going through things. Such as my old CDs and software. I’m thinking about throwing that damned roller ball pen in the box to go, but I don’t want to curse my friends.
BTW, does anyone have any experience with Lush? I bought two bottles of shampoo, two bottles of conditioner and a bottle of shower gel from them when I was in Yonkers. Is it any good? Better than the “chemical ridden stuff”? I bought:
Forever In Bloom Conditioner
American Cream Conditioner
Ice Blue Shampoo
I Love Juicy Shampoo
Freeze Shower Gel
Are any of those any good? Anyone ever have any personal experience with them? Allergic reactions? Good bad? Indifferent? I haven’t had a conditioning since May, so I’m due. Which should I use first?
Jamie aka: The being known as Wonder Girl, 30, mother of four, wife to one, she is a senior biomedicine student who is learning to fit in in the world around her. After nearly three decades on this planet, she still doesn't know where she belongs. Best friend of Matt, sarcastic, spoiled, apathetic, kutie brat, babe. Just your average woman, living in a not-so-average world, surviving by her incredible super power of being able to see right through you while
accomplishing more tasks than you ever thought imaginable. She is the being known as Wonder Girl and she is speaking, I believe. More? Aren't you brave!
