Just incase this ever happens again, I have a couple of off server blogs, Recovering Beauty and Comatised, a tumblr, and several scene journals, gamine, stxr and Christina. What can I say? I love to write, I love to get feed back on my writing, and I always want that option there to write online if I need it. But I have been online for way over a decade, so I’ve gotten around some.

I am back on my Cymbalta. I don’t remember why I stopped taking it, but I did. I don’t know if I’m happy with being on it or not. I am also on another diabetic drug that I don’t know if I want to take. Low blood sugars scare me so much and I don’t know how many of them I can take. I was already put under ‘watch’ today, having to have a ‘baby sitter’ to go out and buy Valentine’s Day gifts and a little somethings for me. I picked up some illuminating foundation for my face that leaves a small shine of glitter after I put it on. It goes with the power foundation I bought last year. I now have the whole set! WooHoo! I picked up some Venom DooWop lip stain, and a tiny little tin of peppermint mints for Chloe. She wanted her own make up and lip stains, since I was getting some. I had to explain to her that like with her pierced ears, she has to wait to get to use make up. But then I ended up giving her a small make over in the hallway outside the candy store. Our skin tones are practically identical, and she acted as though she was a princes after the make over. I wish I would have thought to take pictures.

The last stop of the day was Walmart, so I could get more DVDs to record more movies for my mother. I picked up some candy for the family. Those large Carousel Lollipops. I gave the boys and Chloe each a Wild Cherry pop. I think the DVDs are going okay. I’m sleepy from my meds, so I haven’t checked on them. I should be napping. I have a lot to get done tomorrow.

My heart needs to heal. These days I ignore it. That isn’t good.

I’ll re-write my pages some day. Not tonight. My back is hurting, Nick won’t let me have any of my meds, I ran off the social worker who came beating on our door, and I’m still worked up over that. You don’t just come into my house and throw around your weight and tell me what I can and cannot legally have here. All the medicines I have are 100% legal prescriptions. It’s hard to abuse a skin patch or time released capsule. I threw his damned bottle of psychotrophic drugs at him as he was ducking out of the house. Shit just got real on this page, and I’d like to keep things on a down low, least my mother’s sister is reading and printing what I have written here.

With my pages gone, I have the time, the encouragement to make something better. The title card isn’t misspelled, it’s a play on words. Get it? No? Well, ok.

Nick and I chowed down on these Mardi Gras cookies from Merritt’s. I want more, but I can’t have anymore until tomorrow. Get some! They come in green, purple and yellow! And they are delicious.

blog feeds: Here There

Last night, Chloe lost her first tooth. She was just as excited as I was about this, and I told her that the Tooth Fairy would be bringing her something awesome in exchange for her tooth. I wasn’t sure what to get her. She talks as though she wants her daddy to come home. That’s something that just can’t happen. I was saddened by her request, and fell asleep fitfully, and partially in tears. I woke up late this morning and had to rush around and get ready for work, and to drop her off at school. Getting home later than I thought, since I had to stay an extra hour at work to grade mid terms that were today, I didn’t have time to pick up anything for Chloe. She really laid on the guilt trip about how the Tooth Fairy was a huge disappointment. I almost regretted telling her about it, when we were pulling into the drive way, and there was a box on the front porch.

Inside the box was a professional digital camera for me and a $50 iTunes gift card. Dennis had sent us a care box! I handed Chloe the iTunes gift card and told her it was from the Tooth Fairy. She gave me a big hug, and hurried inside to start downloading things to her iPod. Nice save, dear.

The new camera I have is supposed to have an 18x zoom, 14 mega pixels, Super Macro, and an HD video recorder. In other words, pure awesome-ness. I finally have a high-definition video camera! I have wanted a professional camera for so long! However, in the words of my friend Josh, there’s always the after thought that the reason my photos and videos suck has nothing to do with the camera I shoot with. Much like why my graphics and HTML is awful, neither Photoshop nor Dreamweaver and ultimately Creative Suite, did not help me any there, a professional camera will not help my photography and video skills. I am just neither creative nor talented in any of the five aspects that the more successful people online are. I have played around with the camera a little bit, and I was able to take a perfect panoramic photo with it, and some good Super Macro shots, some extreme zoomed shots. The quality of the images are a little low. I like the quality of my CoolPix better, but maybe I just need to play around with this one a little more.

The shapes of the photos are not like the CoolPix. They are a little more wider. I have some samples that I am going to post at the end of the entry.

I decided to test it out on the dogs and the boys as they played today. I also tested the zoom on the machine at the end of our back yard. There are so few photos that are actually good enough for me to post online. I can’t wait to try out the video recorder!

After Chloe got her iTunes downloads and I had played with my camera a little, I went out shopping to buy some new clothes for work. I bought three new blouses: a long-sleeved green blouse, a short-sleeved blue blouse and a pink mole-skin blouse. I also picked up two new pairs of jeans, three sizes smaller than I remember needing. I picked up all of this at JC Penny, and spent nearly three hundred dollars, but I enjoyed the shopping trip. I also picked up Chloe’s Halloween and Christmas bears while I was at the mall. I think the new clothes look good on me. I have to wash them soon, before my mother ties up the washing machine again. I always like to wash my clothes before I wear them the first time. I think I am going to look really good when I go to work next week.

The weather was so nice out while I was shopping. It should stay this nice out all the time. My sinuses were clear, the air was a bit chilly, but not ice cold, and the skies were clear blue. Tonight the stars are out dancing in the black velvet sky. I am not really sleepy, but I am going to bed soon. I want to stay awake and try out different patterns with my new clothes and have Nick take photos of me in them! But then what could I do with the photos? It’s not like I can put them online, my harasser would steal them. Well, maybe I could put them on Facebook…

Okay, on with the pics so I can clean up tonight and get ready for bed. I bought a new Asian cherry blossom and ginseng shampoo and conditioner set at JC Penny while I was clothes shopping, and I’m really eager to try it out, even if my hair is just ultra-short and spiky. I need to sit down and bleach my hair again. When my hair is this short, it looks better bleached. I don’t know why. Red hair just doesn’t look good spiked on me. I’m thankful that it has stopped falling out..

Randomness: Can anyone else tell that I had a pain-free day and I am happy to be alive? Well I did and I am. There are so many days that I have gone through with either chronic, everlasting pain, and/or sickness that all I can do is get up, go to work, come home, and lounge in bed for a few hours, interacting with my family from the bed. It was getting worse and worse, and then I broke my toe, and then today I had a good day. A good day and some sunshine!

I want to thank everyone who leaves personal support and love for me here. I appreciate it. As for those of you concerned about the personality stealer (which is all that I will refer to her as), I don’t care what she does. If she wants to claim that she and I have the same interests and likes, that’s fine with me. I know that she does not, and in doing so, she isn’t impressing me or anyone out there because I don’t like myself in the state that I am. I feel there is room for improvement and nothing that she says or does will make that any different. It scares me a little to think that she feels that she is a perfect person in mimicking me, and I feel bad for the next person that she pretends to be, but what can one say? I’m annoyed about it a little, and a bit amused, but that is all. Again, thanks for telling me. I appreciate it.

I haven’t been feeling well these past couple of days. I don’t know what it is. I am going to try to clean things up around here and see if I feel any better. I feel pretty bad tonight. Bad enough that I flushed my supper down the toilet rather than eat it. I wasn’t that hungry anyway, and spent a good part of the day trying to sleep. I still feel pretty bad. Back pain. Leg pain. Calf pain. Head aches. I was put on Coumadin a few days ago, and since then I have been a little dizzy. I am thinking of going off of it. I also want to get my act together and see a doctor, even if it is the asshole that I despise, because I need some of my old meds back. I need them to get my life back on track. Or maybe it’s the idea that my mother has been living with us for a year now with no signs of moving out or reconciling with dad? That has always made me feel exhausted because she harps on everything I do, and she can always do so much better than me. On top of that all, she hates Chloe. Yes, she hates her granddaughter for two reasons: One, the girl was born out of wedlock (as if my mother was even married before I was born, and even then, I belonged to another man) and two, I “baby” her too much by getting her a pristine education, won’t let her walk and run the streets at night, and on Halloween I (GASP!) won’t let her trick-or-treat at the registered sex offended (pedophile)’s house! What the hell kind of mom am I, not letting a child who hasn’t hit puberty get molested?!

Okay, I’m being sarcastic and witty. Time to publish my post, close my browser and get to bed!

First, I signed up for the Early Release of Lion Mac OS X 10.7, which meant that I could get a download through the desktop App store at midnight on the night before the official release. Kind of like those lame Harry Potter release parties that book stores had to pump up businesses. This is what happened:

They gave us, those who paid extra to get this software before the crowds, so our computers wouldn’t be defunct for hours like our iPhones were when we downloaded the new I OS software, a developer’s program. It crashed the system, and I had to dig out my Snow Leopard to reinstall it. I was fearful that my computer would have to be erased and started over from scratch. I’m fortunate that wasn’t the case. It was the way it was before I attempted to install Lion. Go Apple! Or not…

The next day, I was credited all of the funds paid to Apple, back in my account, plus given the option to download Lion free of charge. Of course this meant a seven hour download time, and I could have stolen the software in less time than that, but I wanted to be fair to Apple. This is how Lion installed over the next thirty minutes.

The next day, I made a mini review of some major changes, that I consider major anyway:

Just for fun, here’s a video of me playing with the family labrador.

In conclusion, thanks.

As for me, I just got Toast Titanium 11 and Popcorn 3 to play with for a little while. I don’t have any blank discs, but that’s ok. I can still check out both programs. I want to get Roxio’s Easy VHS to DVD and the little adapter for the computer to plug into a VCR, but I think we’re better off to get a new TV first, before I start trying to convert my old tapes. Still, I think I should get the software first. Oh, and I updated my wishlist, in case anyone is feeling generous out there. *bats eyelashes*

I have to sign off early today. It’s 114+ degrees out, and the air conditioner is frozen up. I’m starting to think that I am living in an alternate universe where everything is illogical and the laws of physics and intelligence is no longer in existence. I gave my wireless keyboard to my dad over a month ago, and my hands are resting on the aluminum spaces on this laptop, and guess what? In the intense heat outside plus this computer that is hot naturally, I’m getting second-degree burns from just typing. What a time for the air conditioner to freeze up! So I’m going to sign off, turn off the air conditioner, and try to find somewhere else here that is cool. I heard the kitchen air conditioner is working wonderfully, and I got a shipment of inks for my calligraphy pens, so I’m going to go test those out. I’d post photos, but, well, you know.

He came home about 7am, and so did several members of the band. They have taken to wash in the bath tub and use the entire tube of tooth paste. It’s a little annoying because I don’t know how much of that tooth paste was used for brushing teeth. I’m glad Dennis is home. We were looking into amusement parks to take Chloe to for her sixth birthday in two weeks. I wanted to take her to Six Flags New Orleans, where I spent my 20th birthday when it was Jazzland, but the place never recovered from Katrina. So, we’re looking at other Six Flags places. Preferably one with a Batman ride, Yo-yo Swings, and a Pandemonium ride. I loved those. I remember I was one of the first guests to Six Flags New Orleans, and I was one of the last guests. I was there when I was pregnant with Chloe, and I was denied access to the rides because I was visibly pregnant. Then I went back just three days before the park was permanently closed. I remember riding the Batman, Yo-yo and Pandemonium rides. Those are the ones that I want Chloe to experience. Dennis and I came to that conclusion ourselves. So that is what we are looking for in a Six Flags location. Any suggestions? They will be greatly appreciated!

My sticker photos from Moo.com came in today! Woo! They are the new round photo stickers. I can say that these are much better than the little square photos in the sticker books that you can buy. I got the 52 set and I love them to death. I have been decorating my binder for when I go back to work, my journal pages, and other places I wanted photos of my family and friends and just couldn’t bear to put an actual photo there for fear it would get ruined. These are pretty good quality, too. They are vinyl, water resistant stickers that won’t run or fade if they get wet. I really recommend if you want photo sticker, Moo.com should be your first stop!

Lastly, before I shuffle off to bed, I downloaded the 8 mm iPhone App. I love shooting videos with my phone, but this one is really a great app. I can edit and shoot the videos at the same time! I have a really lame trio of videos that I shot with the app yesterday on Flickr, and they’re basically just shots of the walk-in closet that I sleep in alone with the dog when Dennis isn’t here, but if you want to watch my lame attempt at shooting a vintage vid, I have uploaded it here. There’s no sound, and I don’t know how to get the sound to work properly on the app. Ideas? Help a techno-wannabe?

G’night everyone!

So I apologise about the blank page that is my site. I don’t know what happened to it, and I know that I hate it when I’m surfing EC and come to a blank site. Besides, that violates EC’s TOS and I’m kind of anal about that, so I’m sending people here for the duration of the downtime. So sorry people. It’s ironic that I wrote yesterday about my off-server blog, only to have to turn to it less than twenty four hours later.

Other than that, I’ve had a pretty good Friday the Thirteenth. How about you? I slept most of the day. Ha! Hair of the dog! I met my good friend Chris on a Friday the Thirteenth, and we went to see the new Friday the Thirteenth on a Friday the Thirteenth, so it’s a good day for me. I remember Chris falling asleep in the theater and falling out of his chair. I also remember the asshole behind us who talked on his phone the entire movie. Hate people who do that.

Today was the last day of classes for Chloe. Yep, school’s out till the end of August. I have to boost my parenting attention span up to full speed. I tried to get Nick to take her to school this morning, but he wouldn’t budge. Apparently, he raided the liquor last night and was having a hang over this morning. Chloe wanted to go to school at seven in the morning to “get it over with already!” Not that she hates her school or anything. She’s already expressed that she doesn’t want to go anymore, and can’t wait till she’s 18 so she can quit! Have I raised a winner or what? I will say this, I wanted to quit so many times when I was younger, as a child, even, and I went on to college and med school, so it’s probably nothing.

I stopped by the University to pick up some papers and get on with my work for the summer semester. I didn’t see Carl. Good thing. I found out some of my co-workers were in on the “she’s crazy” shit, probably because I’m one of the more over-qualified people for my job. I could have gotten their positions and then some if I really wanted to when I hired in. They’re intimidated by me. I know it. So they want rid of me. FUN! I thought I was working with adults, not high school kiddies! And to make things worse, these are the people who are teaching our youth, our future. Oh, and some poetic justice: I was drug tested today. At least I assume that’s what Ron wanted my urine and hair for. But you can never tell with people who work in science.

G’night everyone! Hope my site is back to normal in the morning! More than that, I hope my hosts are updating that PHP error, so I don’t have to quit my blog there afterall.