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Posts Tagged ‘Life’

Eteindre La Depression

I wish that switch that some people think exists, for depression, were real. I would flip it in an instant. This whole “being sad all day and being unable to get anything done” is for the birds. I want a change. There are few things going good for me right now. None of it is family related. My mother is back to bullying me, my husband abandons me all day long, and refuses to answer my texts or calls, but tweets all day long, leaving me with four kids, half of which are not mine, and my father-in-law is getting worse. He’s starting to assume that I am his dead wife, and I have a feeling that isn’t going to end well.

*sigh*

Can you see why I want that switch to be real?


Vous voir Dans le Ciel

Baxter died last night.


Juste un autre jeudi

Chloe threw up again today. This time she threw up on her black and white butterfly rug. I can’t wash that rug, so I rolled it up and threw it away. I don’t know what’s wrong with her. She seems to be throwing up watery fluids and food, when she does. I want to blame the heat for her sickness, but I really can’t because she wasn’t outside for very long today. I wonder if she’s eating too much?

She didn’t want me throwing away her rug, and she begged me not to, but what choice did I really have?

My SkullCandy earbuds went out today, so I had to get another pair. I kind of like them. They block out the background noise, so I can tune everything out that I don’t want to hear. Ignorance is bliss.


Beauté fragile

There was a downpour today while I was gone to get the dessert for dinner. Rain covered the car. The windows steamed up. A semi zoomed past me on the interstate and caused water to be splashed over the windshield; the cascading water made it impossible to see. I considered pulling over until the storm let up. Lightening danced on both sides of the street. It wasn’t safe for me to be out there. Luckily, there wasn’t much traffic, and I was able to wipe a small section of the fog off the windshield and creep home. No wrecks. Just some annoyance. It seems unrealistic, now, that there was ever a storm. There’s not a cloud in the deep blue sky. The stars are out, twinkling in the sky. The wind is calm. The air is cool. Only the puddles in the street remind me of the rain storm today.

I almost want to ask my husband if he wants to go out for a night ride, but I won’t. I’ve thought about climbing up to the roof and gazing through the telescope mounted there. Just to see the rings of Saturn. I haven’t dared look for it since my eye operation over five years ago. Mucking through my past files brought up my old list of things I wanted to do now that I was able to see clearly now. Seeing the rings on Saturn, which is possible through my telescope, was near the top of the list. I was never able to see them before because my eyes were so bad. I fear the roof. It’s silly. I have nothing to be afraid of, but I can’t get up my courage to climb the stairs and just use the telescope or gaze around the neighborhood.

My birthday is complete today. I got the last of my presents today. Another book and a pair of navy blue Chucks. It seems my boss wasn’t too keen on me wearing white-with-iridescent-stars Chucks in the lab. At least now I won’t be annoying my boss. I love Chucks. I could live in them. Some people joke that I do live in them.

I think I need a night out with my husband. For one night, that’s all I ask. We deserve it, right?

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