I don’t really know why, but I feel good lately. Things are going my way, and physically, I feel better. The calm before the storm, I guess. I thought about why I might feel better this week, and that’s when I realised: I haven’t driven or had sex in about a month. Thursday marks the fourth week that I have not driven and today marked one month since I last had sex. Good sex. Sex that resulted in me having ten org… nevermind.

Driving and sex usually result in me doing something else: Smoking a pack of cigarettes or drinking copious amounts of liquor (normally after sex and not while driving!). I’m also eating less. Cleaning the house more. I feel a little bit more limber. I stopped taking narcotics, somewhat. Don’t get me wrong, if I can get my hands on some, I’ll probably inhale ‘em, but other than that, I fee as though the stress of what was once my life is now gone. Who knew it was sex and being independent that was keeping me from being healthy?

Of course my husband is a different story. He’s irritable and grumpy most of the time. Poor guy has to drive me to school every afternoon and make sure that I have a way home, a trip to the store, and he’s not getting any sexual relief at his own choice since he can’t seem to gather his courage up to do anything since I was hurt. I want to tell him… That penis?…..you think you can hurt me with that?! But I will be nice. I remember the first time I was going to pleasure him and he made the remark for me ‘not to hurt myself’. Um, it’s a penis, not a nuclear warhead. The world won’t end if it goes off.

Oh man, now my mind is in the gutter, and I have no sexual relief!